Clothes, Hair and Cheesy TV

Disclaimer:  I wrote this last night and didn't get to post it.

Spin class was just brutal tonight.  Getting through it was probably the most difficult thing I did all day, and that says a lot considering the fact that I teach 7^th graders.  So, when I got home I’d have to say that I was not in the happiest of moods.  (I like to leave the gym feeling like I rocked my workout, not like my workout rocked me.)

As I sat at my kitchen table, eating some delicious soup that I made myself (HUGE accomplishment), I tried to think of the little things that happened during my day that made me happy.  First thought: wearing my favorite pink sweater.  Nope, it had a hole in it when I put it on.  Next thought: data team meeting.  Ummm… Love the ladies, not the data.  Third: administering our December District Assessment.  Seriously?  Last thought: first dinner theater rehearsal.  Don’t get me wrong; I heart dinner theater rehearsals, just not the first one.  There’s way too much paper work to get through. 

Little things that make me happy, little things that make me happy – And then the little holiday bell went off in my head.  Granted, this has nothing to do with the holidays, but… Tis the season for bells!  Right?

I LOVE TV dramas. I especially like ones filled with beautiful young people who say witty things and find themselves in predicaments that I truly doubt could occur in real life, though I guess one never really knows for sure.  Tonight’s guilty pleasure: Gossip Girl.  I know, absolutely ridiculous.  You and my husband can agree on that.

I guess it started in the late 80s with Saved by the Bell and Full House.  After school or at night, I could sit down and get lost in some crazy story told by people with perfect hair and trendy clothes.  My brother and I would sit in front of the TV and laugh at Screeh and Uncle Joey.  I would oogle at Tiffani Amber Thiessen’s hair and clothes.

I guess you might say it only got worse from there.  I would beg to differ.  It only got better. Boy Meets World faded into My So Called Life.  I wanted Claire Dane’s dyed red hair, though it didn’t look quite the same on my dark brown hair.  That’s when things got really dramatic.  That’s when I just HAD to see my shows. 

Gilmore Girls, Dawson’s Creek, Felicity – They got me through high school.  Loreli was the perfect mother, Dawson was the sweetest neighbor and Felicity got to live in New York City.  And, oh, the clothes!  Rory, Joey Potter, and Felicity (I know, I said that name already) – I loved their hair and their outfits.  I mean, for crying out loud, why couldn’t I have curly hair like Kerry Russell? 

 

But, much to my husband’s dismay, it didn’t stop there.  Next came Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars, and 90210.  My clothing purchases went through the roof.  I wanted to dress like I lived on the Upper West Side.  If I couldn’t live there, I could at least look I did. 

And yet, I’m not done.  Finally there was Glee, which my husband harassed me about mercilessly.  This continued, that is, until he watched it.  He may never get the clothing thing, but at least he knows how I can get caught up in the stories.  

30+1

My 30^th birthday was nothing like I imagined it would be.   I don’t mean the celebrations.  (Though those were awesome – especially the multiple Tiffany boxes from my friends and family, orchestrated by my husband.)  I mean the actual day. 

I expected my birthday to be happy and awesome.  And it was.  But it was also sad and reflective.  As I was turning 30, my husband’s aunt was dying.  And her two beautiful, strong daughters were watching her do it.  This had a more of an impact on me that I thought it would.  My emotions shifted almost hourly, from happy and excited about my special day to nervous and mournful.

I had always planned to wear my wedding tiara for my birthday.  Any excuse to be a princess works for me and I had paid enough for the tiara that an extra wear would be good for it.  I didn’t even notice my tiara the day of my wedding.  It was almost as if I didn’t have it on. But yesterday it pinched and poked my head.  I was tempted to take it off.  Instead, each time it got uncomfortable, it reminded me to be happy – for my day and my life. 

As I taught my students and listened to them serenade me with many rounds of “Happy Birthday,” I thought about how lucky I am to have students who care, even if they test my patience and leave me feeling exhausted.  I thought, over and over, how lucky I am to have a career that I love. 

As my co-workers gathered for lunch, laughing at me as I skipped around at the sight of cupcakes from my favorite bakery, I thought about how grateful I am for them.  They supported me from the beginning of my career, my marriage, my dinner theater.  I hear about people who don’t get along with their co-workers.  I am very lucky.

As I met friends for drinks and then arrived home to my husband, only to find more gifts and piles of cards, I realized how lucky I am to have so many people who care about me enough that they thought of me on birthday, some even wanting to spend time with me for part of it. 

And, as I sat across the table from my husband, at a lovely, cozy restaurant enjoying an amazing dinner, I realized how blessed I am to have found a partner who supports, encourages, calms, pokes fun at and adores me. 

All the moments when I stopped to think of Brendan’s aunt and his two cousins, I began to feel sad at the loss and injustice of it all.  But instead it inspired me to be the best person I could be and to be there for all of the people in my life who are there for me, who matter so much.  She was a kind person, always a smile and hug for you.  She raised two proud, confident, beautiful, gracious young ladies.  Those are attributes one should strive for. 

My 20s were filled with anxiety and questions.  What if…?  Am I doing the right thing?  Maybe I should do this differently?  Only one day into 30 and I already know what I should be doing, what I want to be doing.  Life is too short and too precious to waste questioning things.  I want to embrace it all, soak it all in and give back as much as I can.  I am so happy to be 30.