Finding Friendship

When life gets overwhelming (like it has constantly been for me as of late), it becomes hard to see past what is right in front of you.  Sometimes it feels like the things that make you happy have to take a back seat because, at that moment, it is more important to do the laundry, write a Masters paper or go to the doctor.  But, one week ago today, life gave me the opportunity to stop and really see one of the happy things in my life - my best friend.

I met her in 6th grade music class on the first day of middle school.  I knew to look for her because a family friend lived in her neighborhood and told me to find her.  The family friend thought she and I would hit it off.  She was right.  We were in all of the same classes and shared many of the same interests - reading, boys, and Broadway.  We bonded over Guys and Dolls, Les Miserables, Anything Goes and Hair.  We performed together in 1 play, 3 musicals and countless numbers of school concerts throughout middle and high school.  She didn't care about my lack of fashion sense or my inability to sing well.

Our relationship grew and changed over the years.  Sometimes we would talk everyday.  Other times we would barely say a word for weeks.  Either way, we always found our ways back to each other.  We saw each other through boyfriends, show rehearsals, bad grades, summer camp, college applications and leaving home.  We made it through college, helped plan each others weddings and visited our new houses.

One week ago today, my best friend had a baby.  Her first child, he's a beautiful little boy named Dillon.  She looked amazing when I went to see her in the hospital.  Holding that little peanut who would coo and ahh and cry, her skin glowed and her eyes twinkled as she talked to him, telling him he was all right.  I watched as she talked to her endearing husband, then back to her baby, then to me.  We're adults now.  We have husbands and jobs and responsibilities far beyond what we had in sixth grade.

But, as I watched, I could see her 19 years ago, in Mrs. Solar's sun-drenched music classic at the end of the hall by the girls' locker room.  Sitting in the cold, hard, tan-colored desk, she turned around to talk to me when I said her name.

"Do you know Katie?" I had asked.
Her long, unruly curly hair bouncing as she nodded.
"Yeah, I do," she had replied.  "How do you know her?"

And so began an almost 20 year conversation.   If someone had told me then that she and I would still be friends when we turned 30, I don't know what I would have said.  I probably would have believed it, but still, there's so much that can happen over time and so much that can change.

Sitting in the chair in her hospital room, holding her son for the first time, I felt as if I were meeting my best friend all over again.  I'm even more happy about it this time than I was the first.

Where I Stand Now

I've been reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project for the past few weeks and have to say that I am really enjoying it.  It's not at all like the preachy self-help books of which I try to steer clear.  In my reading, Rubin just took the Authentic Happiness Inventory, so I thought I'd take it too.

I scored a 3.25 (out of 5) on the inventory.  I guess it means that I'm reasonably happy.  I figure I'll try again in a few months.  (With all of this data collection at work, I feel like I'm getting addicted to it.)  Some funny statistics were that 63% of people my age scored a 3.25.  I wonder what that says about late-20s/30-somethings.

If you're interested in taking the inventory yourself, go to: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx