Where I Stand Now

I've been reading Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project for the past few weeks and have to say that I am really enjoying it.  It's not at all like the preachy self-help books of which I try to steer clear.  In my reading, Rubin just took the Authentic Happiness Inventory, so I thought I'd take it too.

I scored a 3.25 (out of 5) on the inventory.  I guess it means that I'm reasonably happy.  I figure I'll try again in a few months.  (With all of this data collection at work, I feel like I'm getting addicted to it.)  Some funny statistics were that 63% of people my age scored a 3.25.  I wonder what that says about late-20s/30-somethings.

If you're interested in taking the inventory yourself, go to: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx

What is True Happiness and How to Experience True Happiness Now

What is True Happiness and How to Experience True Happiness Now

This is a great article that was suggested to me by my lovely friend Jessica. Being that it is all about about happiness, I loved it and highly recommend you read it as well. I love the way the author wrote this article and especially enjoyed her "How to Experience Happiness Now" section. Thanks Jessica!

Educational Research 515

I was recently asked to develop a research question for my Educational Research class.  Since I’ve recently spent a lot of time reading and thinking about happiness, I was naturally drawn to this topic. 

So, I’m wondering what the relationship is between teacher happiness and student behavior.  Everyone knows that if someone is happy, she will work harder and be more productive in her chosen profession.  Day after day, I listen to my co-workers in education complain.  It seems like we have so much to be down about these days.  There’s no money for us.  Our students are not meeting state standards.  We have little or no supplies.  Our students don’t seem to care about learning and their behavior is, at times, a little scary, to say the least. 

We cling on to the little rays of light to make us happy – the student who continually excels, despite the crazy behavior of her classmates; the student who finishes his first book all year; the student who manages to go from a D- to a C+.  And still we leave everyday drained and exhausted, only to turn on the news and hear what a lousy job we’re doing and how we’re letting down our children and communities.  

I can’t research it all.  My course is only eight weeks long, after all.  So what do you think?  Is there a significant relationship between student behavior at school and teacher well-being and happiness?  I know education is all about the student.  But shouldn’t some of it be about the teachers?  Isn’t our safety and success important too?

“Exhuberance is beauty.” -William Blake

Okay, let’s lay it all on the table.  It has been two weeks since I posted on my blog.  So, because I’m behind, I’m not going to talk about Gretchen Rubin’s video for this week, I’m going to talk about her video from the week of March 8^th (the last week I posted).  It’s funny.  Her video from the week of the 8^th is about exercising during the week.  I knew her reasoning before I even watched the video.  Exercise makes you happy, healthy and gives you energy.  Considering I danced about 12 hours a week from the time I started middle school until my high school graduation, one would have thought I would have made exercising a habit, but I didn’t.  And, to top it off, all of my reasons for not blogging are the same excuses I use for not exercising.

My rationalization usually sounds something like this:  “I can’t exercise/blog because…

… I have too much planning for school to do.

… I have too many papers to correct.

… I have too much to do after school.

… I have too much homework to do.

… I am too tired.

… I don’t feel well.

… I don’t want to exercise/blog.

… I’d rather go out with my husband.

... etc.

But this weekend, completely out of the blue, I exercised…. Twice.  Friday was so beautiful that hubby and I went for a three-mile walk when I got home.  And thanks to Day Light Savings Time, it stayed light enough for our walk, even when we arrived home at close to 8 p.m.  This morning, even though I had homework, I went to gym.  Instead of taking class like I usually do, I did the elliptical machine and read my textbook at the same time – two birds with one stone!  I really do feel good now.  So good, in fact, that I’m posting a blog.

So, tell me.  How do you make time for exercise (and blogging, if you do it)?  

Finding the "Happy" in "Unhappy"

I haven't written in my blog in about two weeks.  While it was really starting to bug me that I wasn't writing, I didn't feel as if I was in the right state of mind to do so.  To be perfectly honest, I haven't really been happy lately.  I did get to spend about four-and-a-half wonderful days in Walt Disney World with my amazing husband and parents.  And I was definitely happy then.  But just before and after my vacation, I've pretty much felt completely lousy.  Between all kinds of challenging situations at work, trying to finish up a Masters class, and fretting over selling our house and finding a new one, I have probably been one of the most cranky people on earth.  (I'd like to send a special shout out to my husband, my mother and my work partner-in-crime for helping me out and not telling me to go jump off a cliff.)

It had been a long time since I'd visited the Happiness-Project website.  Maybe if I'd gone to it just a few days earlier, I would have found the awesome post I've copied and pasted below.  The resolution for this week is to get enough sleep, which is something I definitely need to do.  But the other suggestions in the post below are equally helpful and are starting to make me feel happier already.  I guess I'm just the kind of person who needs to be pro-active, not re-active.  I need to feel like I am in control.  Hopefully this will put me back in control of my happiness.  Now, if only I could control the weather to get the sun to come out and melt all of this snow.

8 Tips for Feeling Happier During an Unhappy Time.

Every Wednesday is Tip Day.
This Wednesday: 8 tips for feeling happier during an unhappy time.

At some points in life, it's not possible -- or at least not easy -- to feel happy. However, even then, it's sometimes possible to feel happier. By taking whatever steps you can manage to give yourself whatever happiness boost is possible, you give yourself a deeper reservoir to deal with your happiness challenge. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Remind yourself of reasons to be grateful. When things look really dark, it's hard to feel grateful, but remembering what's good in your life can help put problems into perspective. I have a friend who recently suffered a big disappointment at work. She said to me, "As long as my family is healthy, I can't get too upset about anything." This may sound like hackneyed advice, but it's really true.

2. Remember your body. Take a twenty-minute walk outside to boost your energy and dissolve stress. Don’t let yourself get too hungry. Get enough sleep. Manage pain. When you’re anxious, it’s easy to stay up late and eat ice cream -- and that’s going to make you feel worse in the long run. It's very tempting to run yourself ragged trying to deal with a crisis, but in the long run, you just wear yourself out.

3. Do something fun. Temporarily distract yourself from the stress, and re-charge your battery, with an enjoyable activity. Watching a funny movie is a reliable way to give yourself a pleasant break, and listening to your favorite music is one of the quickest ways to change your mood. When my older daughter was in the intensive-care unit as a newborn, my husband dragged me off to a movie one afternoon -- and that few hours of distraction made me much better able to cope with the situation. Be careful, however, not to “treat” yourself by doing something that’s eventually going to make you feel worse (taking up smoking again, drinking too much, indulging in retail therapy). My comfort-food activity is reading children's literature.

4. Take action. If you’re in a bad situation, take steps to bring about change. If you’re having trouble with your new boss, you could decide to try to transfer. Or you could change your behavior. Or you could find ways to pay less attention to your boss. Ask yourself, "What exactly is the problem?" It's astounding to me that often, when I take time to identify a problem exactly, a possible solution presents itself.

5. Look for meaning. Re-frame an event to see the positive along with the negative. Maybe getting fired will give you the push you need to move to the city where you’ve always wanted to live. Maybe your illness has strengthened your relationships with your family. You don’t need to be thankful that something bad has happened, but you can try to find positive consequences even in a catastrophic event.

6. Connect with friends and family. Strong relationships are a KEY to happiness, so fight the impulse to isolate yourself. Show up. Make plans. Ask for help, offer your help to others. Or just have some fun (see #3) and forget your troubles for a while.

7. Make something better. If something in your life has gotten worse, try to make something else better – and it doesn’t have to be something important. Clean a closet. Organize your photographs. Work in the yard.

8. Act toward other people the way you wish they’d act toward you. If you wish your friends would help you find someone to date, see if you can fix up a friend. If you wish people would help you find a job, see if you can help someone else find a job. If you can’t think of a way to help someone you know, do something generous in a more impersonal way. For instance: commit to being an organ donor! When you’re feeling very low, it can be hard to muster the energy to help someone else, but you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel. Do good, feel good; it really works.

What other strategies have you used to make yourself happier during an unhappy time?

Singing in the Car

A few weeks ago I made a resolution to dance more.  Something I did as a 10-year-old that made me happy, I resolved to try to start dancing around the house again.  I've been doing pretty well.  I dance at home and even sometimes at work.  But some days there just isn't enough time.  I wake up too late or run around too much.  On days like that I try to make sure I sing in the car.  While I don't find it quite as fun because I know what a horrible singer I am, it does help a little.  My life theme song as of late has been "Waka Waka (This Time For Africa)" by Shakira.  I love the lyrics and the beat.  It helps motivate me to stay positive and happy.  It also gets stuck in my head so that when times get rough at work (just as an example), it's there to move me along.  Take a listen!  It's either going to make you smile or drive you crazy... which might make me smile!

You're a good soldier

Choosing your battles

Pick yourself up

And dust yourself off

And back in the saddle

You're on the frontline

Everyone's watching

You know it's serious

We're getting closer

This isnt over

The pressure's on

You feel it

But you've got it all

Believe it

When you fall get up

Oh oh...

And if you fall get up

Ay ay...

Tsamina mina

Zangalewa

Cause this is Africa

Tsamina mina eh eh

Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa

Anawa aa

This time for Africa

Listen to your god

This is our motto

Your time to shine

Dont wait in line

Y vamos por Todo

People are raising

Their expectations

Go on and feed them

This is your moment

No hesitations

Today's your day

I feel it

You paved the way

Believe it

If you get down

Get up Oh oh...

When you get down

Get up eh eh...

Tsamina mina zangalewa

Anawa aa

This time for Africa

Tsamina mina eh eh

Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa

Anawa aa

Tsamina mina eh eh

Waka Waka eh eh

Tsamina mina zangalewa

This time for Africa

The Happiness Project 2011 Challenge Video: Who Is My Spiritual Master?

So, the challenge this week for “The Happiness Project” is to imitate your spiritual master.

Well! I’m one of those Easter-Christmas Church-Goers, so I guess it’s obvious that Jesus Christ is not my spiritual master. I know very little about Ghandi and Mother Teresa. And I haven’t read The Tao of Pooh since college. For a second, I thought I was going to have to forego this challenge. Thankfully, Gretchen Rubinn’s weekly video gave me some clarity and I was able to make my decision almost immediately. When choosing your spiritual master, she said to ask yourself:

“What is it about this person that’s resonating with me? What is it about their teaching that makes me want to learn more about them?”

Rubinn goes on to say that for a long time her spiritual master was Winston Churchill, someone whom she became so interested in that she read many books about him and even received a Chruchill figurine for her birthday. So, who is my spiritual master? I’m surprised I didn’t think of her immediately. (I suppose the word “spiritual” threw me off.)

My spiritual master is someone I’ve admire since I was about 10 years old. I was thought she was beautiful and talented. She always appeared graceful and intelligent. She never seemed pretentious or conceited. I’ve always wanted to be like her. Audrey Hepburn has been my “spiritual master” for many years.

At first I was drawn to her for superficial reasons. She was a dancer and a movie star. She was beautiful and had a lovely-sounding accent. When she died, I bought and saved the People Magazine and the Special Edition People Magazine. (I think I still have them, actually.) Reading those magazine articles made me want to read more about her. Not only was she beautiful, she was also generous. She was an actress and philanthropist. And while she was talented, she was also humble and grateful for the life she had. If it was even possible, she became more wonderful in my eye.

As an adult, I came across a beautifully written biography of Hepburn. I was impressed by how she put so many people first, but still managed to take care of and always stick up for herself. I think sometimes I get frustrated trying to do that. Usually I take my frustration out on the people who are there to support me. And, even when I manage to be there for others, I sometimes feel let down if they don’t notice or appear indifferent. She was smart. And she was happy. I think that was what stuck with me most. Even during the down times of her life, she always had positive things to do and say. Sometimes I just get so caught up in the negativity of my surroundings. The people, the news, the never-ending expectations – I get stuck in a funk of sadness, self-pity, frustration, guilt, etc. In other words, you name it, I get stuck there. I know for certain that that is not how I want to go through my life. Hepburn didn’t and neither should I.

Below are some of her most famous quotes, along with a short clip of an interview with her on the Phil Donahue show in 1990. Her elegance, sophistication, happiness and love are contagious. So, I guess this week my goal is to imitate her. Just don’t be surprised if I show up to work in a black dress and pearls.

"For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

 For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

 For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

 For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.

 For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

 People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.

 As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others."

— Audrey Hepburn

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

— Audrey Hepburn

"The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it's all that matters."

— Audrey Hepburn

"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him."

— Audrey Hepburn

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm, as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help yourself, the second is to help others."

— Audrey Hepburn